Today is your last chance to vote in our vampire vs. zombie poll, and so inspired by Deanna’s movie list (and in one final desperate attempt to save my sinking undead ass) here’s my 15 (count ’em!) reasons to vote zombie (BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!)…
- Zombie Walks: Healthy fun for all the family. Ever heard of “Vampire Walk”? No. Because vampires have no friends and it would be rubbish.
- Chainsaws: What kills zombies? POWER TOOLS. What kills vampires? Wooden stakes. WTF? Where’s the fun in that?
- Zombie Bikini Babes from Outer Space iPhone App: Zombies. Girls in bikinis. And throwing shit. What have you got Dracula? Oh, “a cape”. Nice.
- Marvel Zombies: Written by Robert Kirkman, author of The Walking Dead (another good reason to vote zombie), and with a plot more complicated that cannot possibly be explained in a sentence, all you really need to know is that in an alternate universe the Marvel heroes you know and love are flesh-hungry zombies (and they eat The Silver Surfer m’f@ckr!). ‘Nuff said.
- The “White Lines (Don’t Don’t Do It)” scene in Shaun of the Dead: Old Skool 1980’s hip hop references AND zombies. What else do you want?
- The record throwing scene in Shaun of the Dead: ‘Purple Rain’? No. ‘Sign o’ the Times’? Definitely not. The ‘Batman’ soundtrack? Throw it. Genius. Name one even remotely funny vampire movie. JUST ONE. Vampires = not a good time.
- Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: ignore all those new literary bandwagon-jumping vampire mash-ups. P+P+Z was the original literary Jane Austen horror remix.
- George A. Romero‘s “Living Dead” films: Dude. They’ve defined horror movies for like 40 years (Night of the Living Dead was made in 1968. NINETEEN-SIXTY-EIGHT!). And apparently George A. Romero is writing two zombie novels for Grand Central Publishing. Oh yeah.
- Thriller: The 14 minute Michael Jackson music video directed by John Landis (director of the awesome An American Werewolf in London – see below) is proof that zombies CAN dance. Did I mention it also includes not a rap by Vincent Price? Vincent F@cking Price.
- Resident Evil: The video game even I’ve heard off. Capcom’s zombie-riffic survival horror game — arguably one the most influential games of all time — that has now spawned several sequels, not to mention movies, novels, comics and action figures. Any vampire video games done that? Uh-uh.
- Emperor Zombie: The scene-stealing evil genius in the awesome 2002 comic The Amazing Screw-On Head by Hellboy creator Mike Mignola (published by Dark Horse) and the v. cool TV pilot adaptation created for the Sci-Fi Channel in 2006. Emperor Zombie (voiced by Frasier’s David Hyde-Pierce in the TV pilot) has a “petty vengeance fetish” and plots to take over the world. With a turnip. Oh, and in a nice twist, Emperor Zombie has a vampire sidekick.
- Frankenstein’s Monster: Mary Shelley’s reanimated corpse has had more influence on modern horror than any other fictional character than Bram Stoker’s Dracula. But what makes Frankenstein’s monster more important than fang-face is that Shelley was actually making a point about modern science or something. Bram Stoker was just… I don’t know… writing some shit. Is Frankenstein’s monster actually a zombie? Well, you could say it’s debatable. I would say “hell yeah”.
- A Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen!
- Nazi Zombies: What’s worse than the undead? NAZI undead. If I remember one thing about watching John Landis’ An American Wolf in London as a teenager (apart from Jenny Agutter), it is the trauma-inducing Nazi zombies, and – oh dear god – and they recently made a comeback in Swedish horror movie Dead Snow. Truly. F@cking. Terrifying.
- Zombies aren’t vampires