Barring a viral outbreak of Justin Cronin vampire proportions, humans face the very real fears of things like terrorist organizations, youth crime, biker gangs, etc. So, it came as no surprise to me when I read about a student throwing a puppy at a group of Hells Angels. Why? Well, how much money do you want to bet it was a dachshund?
As I’ve mentioned already, dachshunds have a long and distinguished history of hunting to take down specific prey.
A double-barreled shotgun & dachshund
What I’m about to share with you in classified information, people. Recently, when the Dachshund U.N. convened they weren’t just talking about the “Eradication of Hot Dog Costumes for the Advancement of Dachshund Dignity.”
A sign of hope for dogs and mankind
No, they were talking about “Special Ops and Tactics in Preparation for Saving Dachshund’s BFF (a.k.a. Humankind).” Discussions included, but were not limited to, an overview of Surface-to-Air-Dachshund (S.T.A.D.) technology and aerial hunting capabilities.
In fact, these little canines are considered so dangerous, that these signs have been seen:
Dachshund Free Zone
Finally, viral vampires have hearts, too. Nowhere have I read of one being able to take down a face like this:
<3 melts...
Remember to leave a comment on any of the dacshund vs. viral vampire blog posts for a chance to win very! cool! prizes! Also, go vote for the four-legged on the left side of this page.
Dan
deannamcfadden
Tan Light
robbain
katiekruger
David Sandford Ward
4 comments
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June 23, 2010 at 8:21 am
Amy S
Ok, I know Dachshund’s can be really cute and all…but they can be mean little buggers too! I used to live next door to two of them and if they ever got loose you’d have to guard your ankles constantly. Growling and snapping at you, it’s like they thought if they could take you down by your Achilles tendon then once you were down, your throat would be vulnerable and they’d take you out!
June 24, 2010 at 7:01 pm
katiekruger
Amy S: I’m pretty sure that’s how Achilles actually died. HIstory has been rewritten by the enemies of dachshunds.
June 25, 2010 at 9:14 am
Dachshunds: FTW « (un) Death-Match Presents: Free For All
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June 25, 2010 at 9:47 am
Breiab
How could you not be sucked in by those sad eyes. Thats how they get you, lured in by the promise of sweet kisses from the sad sad puppy then they just rip your throat out. Its their defense mechanism.